Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There's always time for handjobs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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