nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
