I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i've created a new STD.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
