I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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