hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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