the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
