he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
