yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
