I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
