so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
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He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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