im drinking this country out of the recession.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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