i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
