Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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