Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
