I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
