An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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