Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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