we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
