If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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