Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
