So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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