only you would photoshop your dick
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
