I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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