For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
