Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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