I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize