May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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