dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
