the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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