Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I deserve this hangover.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
