you guys were way drunker than both of me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
