Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
