well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
