Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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