If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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