just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
