we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
