I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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