You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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