I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
