doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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