so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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