You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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