38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
