New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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