I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize