the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
not ubering you a puppy
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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