i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
