Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
