i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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