You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
