How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
