Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
