Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
