While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
