Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
