So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
