new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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