My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I will be naked everywhere
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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