So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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