You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she told me i tasted like america
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
