Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
