We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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